In majority of my discussion with the opposite sex, they always, always ask this question – ‘What sexual stuff have you done?’
Update- I planned to delete my wp account, cause I’ve been having series of bad days, but I’ve learned to never make decisions based on emotions, so I’m gonna be leaving for a while
Are we even allowed to date as Christians? A lot of us Christians want to love and be loved, we want to feel what it’s like when your favorite person winks at you all the way from the other side of the room and you blush and turn away. We want to go on numerous dates, But the question tugging on both parties’ minds remains…
How far is too far?
Can I kiss my boyfriend? Am I allowed to hug her tightly? Is it alright if I go ahead and kiss her cheek? Can we both stay in a room together alone?
I’m not condemning you for having such feelings, not at all. I have these same feelings too, sometimes I just call the human involved and talk random stuff to get my mind off it.
God instituted marriage, He is the one who created us, He put these feelings and emotions in us, so he pretty much knows how that you really like that guy or that girl.
The book of Proverbs and the songs of Solomon at certain points tells us how far we should never go as Christians. We all know our strengths, and weaknesses, and let’s be totally honest, Mr. Flesh is pretty strong, he is mostly in charge of our emotions, thoughts, ideologies, and needs. Hence Paul’s reason for saying; the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (spongy and bruised)
Dating Manifesto/ Creed
Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians said, if it was left to him, he’d advise that we never get married. But for those who want to, then they can go ahead. For those who can’t keep it on their pants and skirts, they also should by all means get married.
But modern-day irrationalities have found a way to debunk the latter part of Paul’s advice. Married people still commit adultery. Marriage doesn’t guarantee fidelity or loyalty. Getting married isn’t an achievement that we must all attain by all means, at whatever cost.
What’s your dating/ marriage manifesto? A lot of people have a list of qualities they want in their spouse. Often when I fantasize about dating, I like to imagine situations when ‘he’ is going to offend me, and how I’ll respond? What about times we’d have altercations? And when we’re both not understanding each other? I like to consider realistic things.
I take his standards and boundaries into consideration, I weigh it against mine… Can it work? What can I compromise, will my compromise cost me much? I think up all these. Will this relationship take me away from the will of God? It may sound weird but I pray for these things, I pray about ‘him’ too, I continually ask God for Grace, and that my emotions don’t get in the way.
Mope’s advice for Christians who want to date.
Love roles or gender roles? I dream of dating someone who can cook and has no problem with it, we can dwell in the kitchen coming up with dishes and gist. I learn from him, he learns from me. I’m all out for love roles, please.
Apart from having a boundary and whatnot, you both have to decide on boundaries when y’all are together. What and what is a “must not be done”?
At certain times, you want to be touched intimately. Maybe a hug, a peck, a kiss, or whatnot. Try to think of your state of mind, especially if you already have a no sex before marriage rule. How long should that hug last? Where are we meeting up? A secluded place? Are we lying down to talk in a room alone? Who knows about us? Are we accountable to anyone?
If you’re searching for longevity in relationships, then you should start considering your ability to adapt to his/her friends, excesses, family, female/male friends. Know your triggers. What does your partner do that upsets you? You’d want to sit down and sort that out.
I’m of the school of thought who doesn’t necessarily agree with Communication being the key cause, I’ve seen a lot of people who communicate still having marital, friendship, and whatever relationship problems because they lack what is meant to be the key – Understanding.
If you watch the men’s club you’d see the level of understanding Louis and Lola have, they communicate and understand each other.
Find what works for you.
Where do we draw the line in vulnerability? Can you trust the said person you’re about to date? 1 Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to flee from all appearances of evil. Christianity as I believe is a personal race, Grace for certain things differ. So what might work for me, may not necessarily work for you.
At the end of the day, it’s all about how your love for God is reflected in you and how you want to be loved.
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Until next time y’all ♥️ and💡
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